looking at the ceiling top of my room
silently thinking what im feeling
and remembering how many steps i have been done
until i can be here,
laying my body down
keep in touch with soft mattress
and flirting with a warm blanket
what should i do, next?
how many kilometers
the distance that i have to go through?
i thought, i've left my home too far
cause i already feel the pain;
afraid of getting lost
afraid of being hurt too much
afraid about the future
even my past cant comfort me
meanwhile,
i can only hear my own voice
i can only hold my own hand
i can only talk with my own thoughs
i can only see my deepest feeling
always feel so sleepy,
don't want to face the broken side of this world
oh god, im still too young for this--my tears has said
later, i feel some noises without words knocking my heart,
with typical beat of RnB
i can taste it clearly
the smell of coffe that i usually drink at the midnight
like the bitter oxygen,
which i breathe all the time
secretly, im enjoying this phase more than i want to be
the sadness somehow feels like one of those rainbow colors,
its the most ethereal color,
after i realized;
lonely is lovely,
in my useless-soul's point of view
