for some reason i remember what
one of my friends once said when we are talking about indonesian music
nowadays: reality club is basically just a normies-core band. yeah sure, their
songs are basically just a bunch of love songs that only gen z people can
understand (maybe?). even me, as a weeb with 0 relationship experience, can
relate to their songs and honestly it makes me feel like ugh how can i possibly
feel that too lol
their latest song titled
"you'll find lovers like you and me" gave me goosebumps. the song
stabbed my heart the first time i heard it, and perhaps brought me to a very personal experience. the song is about the realization that we, as humans with so many
complexities, have no control over the future. even if we love hard, try our best to love to the fullest, it can't
determine how it will work out because in the end; love alone is not enough.
i guess as a 'newbie' (i consider myself a newbie because i have 0 'real' experiences), i just realized it recently. and it's quite nerve-wracking. the fact is: just because i love someone, doesn't mean i can always be with them all the time, doesn't mean we really need each other in the long run. and that's reasonable. i have a lot of things to do. i have my own feelings and principles. i have trauma. i have boundaries. i have all these things that i just realized, can bother me in loving someone properly
maybe i should believe mr. fahrudin faiz, who said that loving someone is setting them free and letting them go with their choice of happiness. maybe their happiness is not me. maybe i just make them worry and uncomfortable. and all those possibilities just make me sad, and somehow tired: from the deepest of my heart, of course i want to be by their side forever. but if i do, i only hurt them, or else, i will hurt myself. so, i think i agree with what is told in this song; you will (or should) find lovers like you and me, or even better :)
in the end i chose to set them
free, and watch them from afar. maybe my love language is not 'staying', maybe
my love language is praying for their happiness in silence. however, loving
someone genuinely is not about me as the subject (that's such a selfish
behavior), but rather about how to support the happiness of the person i love,
right?
but on the other hand, i think we should celebrate it too while it still enjoyable. after all, love is rare, love is luck, and we don't always have the chance to feel it. this reminds me of the song "tunjukkan cintamu" by nosstress:
"karena semua yang kaucinta akan pergi
maka tunjukkan cintamu sebelum terlambat."